For (evil) dads who have to watch Blippy

First I must explain my philosophy of evil dadness, so that people do not misunderstand this prank as cruelty. Here are a couple of examples:

  • I am the monster who growls "EAT YOUR TOES!" and is always negotiating for them. Kids like to be chased and I'm teaching them to haggle. Key is to always stop before frightened or dismayed.
  • When they're scared at night, I tell them to pray to Jesus and that I will eat any monsters in the dark, who are scared of me.
  • Daddy is the bad one, Mommy is the good one.

So, the cuddle puddle was watching "Blippy" do a guided tour of London, while I ignored it.

They realized it wasn't the same Blippy. An imposter!

(I'm sure the Blippy company just hired a tour guide to do his job in their costume and voice.)

  • I kept denying the imposter theory as preposterous.
  • Finally had to look closely and admit they were right.
  • Dad's the dummy.jpg
  • So I rationalize that he murdered Blippy and stole his clothes.
  • It's so funny, kid starts repeating it to make me laugh.
  • Mommy is incensed and tries not to laugh.
  • Resistance is futile. Slap-on-shoulder and exit.
  • Flawless victory.

Revised lyrics to Blippy theme song music:

Mercy, mercy,
all my victims scream and shout
as I turn their insides out:

I now laugh whenever Blippy is on.

Don't try this on a kid you haven't toughened up first. But they're surprisingly entertained by abstract concepts of carnage, just as they're frightened of mere strangeness. They will happily discuss eating eyeballs, and then become frightened by Disney animated furniture.

Publish At: Author:Leo Littlebook

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