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Aryan Anon dislikes the new Batman movie

Table of Contents

  1. Intro
  2. Anon's review

Intro

I don't know who wrote the below review, or where. Presumably the author is a white man.

I didn't know The Batman (2022) | Wikipedia existed, but the review stands alone.

Just based on the unimaginative title and the cover pic, I believe it.

Look at beta Batman hovering with bowed virgin head a respectful distance behind a boy-cut and in-charge Halle Barry. No Rivelino green-lines required.

Batman has become the batman: "an officer's personal servant" to the shorn yass queen. Presumably she twerks atop police cars. Isn't she 40?

Oh, 55. So Halle aged out of the hot cat role, and they have a new, uglier mulattress named Zoë Kravitz… who is Not Hot. I guess they no longer feel the need to pick hot mulattresses to sugarcoat Aryan dispossession. How do you ruin Catwoman in this age of universal whoredom?

THE BATMAN – Main Trailer

So Zoe hits on him like a man, and Batman puffs his chest out and acts bulletproof and ignores physics even though he's missing a full facemask. He is now flexman. The Riddler is a boring middle-aged white guy. Large Explosions. This is retarded.

Highest grossing film of 2022. Peak kike.

Anon's review

This movie is a failure because it tries to make a political statement while saying nothing at all. The whole sentiment halfway through the movie is that Gotham is falling apart because too many rich and privileged white men are in power. Nobody is standing up for innocent sex workers like Zoe Kravitz's friend. However, the POC politician is good because she's making public appearances and spouting rhetoric about building the city back better.

The entire system is rotten to the core, nothing will change, and therefore it must all come down. However, any real action to make this happen is inherently bad. Riddler sees the same corrupt system that everyone else, including Catwoman, does, and is successful in actually bringing it to its knees while Batman just solemnly broods over the fact and accomplishes nothing. Anyone that would actually think to take decisive action against this rotten system must be an unhinged lunatic like Riddler. Batman sees this institutional decay and all he does is get generally upset by it while still begrudgingly defending it, and this is presented as the only morally justifiable way to deal with a corrupt system.

Violence meant to attack the system (Riddler) = Bad. Violence meant to defend the system (Batman) = Good.

Riddler is an agent of change, Batman is a defender of the status quo. This dichotomy combined with the theme of the movie, which is government corruption and dismantling old systems, makes for an incomprehensible mess when Batman is postured as the good guy and Riddler the villain.

People are saying the movie is "too woke." However, it doesn't even do "wokeness" right. That scene when Batman is talking to Riddler in his cell. I was thinking that this was the moment when Batman would have a true shift in his perspective. Where he would see that despite Riddler's methods, he was at his core attacking a rotten system that Batman himself is apparently at odds with morally.

This would be the point where Batman shifts his focus from attacking street thugs and helping the police and instead aims his crosshairs on the leaders of Gotham. Where he decides to actualize Riddler's vision of dismantling a corrupt system, but in a way that protects innocent lives; he would redeem the "sins of the his father" by toppling the old regime and aiding in it's true Renewal. He would reach Riddler's level of being an agent of change, but in a way that brings about a new order based on justice.

These are all the themes the movie was building up to that were never realized. Instead, we get some vague message about how actually Batman just needs to help disaster victims onto airlifts, and the city is gonna resume being a crime-ridden hellscape and any attempt to combat this is futile, and will eventually kill Batman.

  • the mayor being the only hope of peaceful bureaucratic change doesn't want anymore people to die

Why is she the only hope though? Her character and what she stood for was totally undeveloped. I guess Matt Reeves thinks sticking a POC politician who shouts empty platitudes about building the city back better and muh justice is enough to show the viewer that she's the one good politician among a bunch of old rich white guys.

You say the theme is how deep the corruption can go, the ending of the movie literally talks about how it's all pointless and it will kill Batman in the end, yet of course the black girlboss is completely untouched by this corruption, a pinnacle of human virtue in a cesspool of systemic white oppression. She's the only hope for this rotten system, because black people are noble, virtuous, incapable of doing any wrong. You can scoff at this all you want, this is the sentiment that the propogandists in Hollywood are trying to push on you.

But even race aside, even if her casting was Tom Hanks, it doesn't change the fact that the character is completely underdeveloped and fails to properly communicate this "symbol of hope and change" other than just having a few scenes where the character seems to care about vague political idealism.

So what exactly is Batman fighting for in the end? Sure he wants to save the innocents in the flood. But ultimately, what principles is he fighting for? Justice? The movie fails to communicate what that even means. He's just gonna wear the bat suit and help flood victims for public appearances? My point still stands, that Batman fails to reach Riddler's level because he is not an agent of change in the corrupt system.
No, it's not "the best one yet" or "better than Begins!" you fucking tourist.

  • Riddler knew nothing, which is what drove the tension of the entire movie. Instead, he's a fucking "incel" with 4chan followers (of course) who wants everyone to die because his orphanage was cold and had rats.

  • Batman isn't just "inexperienced" he's downright retarded, even refusing to pull a parachute after jumping off a building.

  • The supposed "pistol that killed his parents" that he uses as his bat-suit-symbol was a lie, it's actually just a fucking batarang. (nitpick, but still stupid)

  • The entire premise of the movie was that Batman's ways are outdated, beating up, and striking fear into people won't work, it won't make a real difference, so instead he literally becomes a fucking UNICEF worker and practically starts handing out blankets as 'Something In The Way' plays for a second time, it was pretentious and cringe-worthy, even people in the theatre were laughing.

  • Catwoman was annoying, so was the mayor, the political messaging was very heavy handed even for today's standards, but we're all familiar with these particular flaws so i'll move on

  • The actors sucked, seriously, besides Bruce and Alfred, who else was good? The villains didn't feel threatening, (the only one that did turned out to know nothing at all) even Gordon didn't sell the role for me whatsoever, seems like the actor was just there for a paycheck.

  • The dialogue was clunky as hell

  • The editing was weird as hell, did anyone else get that feeling of cuts, and changes, and possibly studio meddling? It just felt off, the flow didn't feel natural at all. It wouldn't surprise me if things were going on behind the scenes.

  • No real stakes. The tension wasn't there like with the Nolan movies.

  • No real blood or realistic violence other than a few scenes, maybe this is my fault for having these expectations, but from the marketing, I thought this movie was supposed to be a lot darker and realistic than what was given.

  • No real message other than Batman is outdated and needs to change his ways, literally guys, that was it.

  • The blatant ripoffs of other films like seven, fight club, girl with the dragon tattoo

  • Barely any screen time alone with Batman, the fucking character we're there to see felt like a side character and we barely got to know him.

  • Pathetic final act, also what was with Riddlers escape plan? He ran away just so he could go to a diner and they could get a shot of a question mark in his coffee? If he wanted to be caught then why'd he run?

I could go on and on…

I actually had to watch Batman Begins after this just to get the taste out of my mouth and remind me of who Batman even is.

I was all for emo Batman, the gothic architecture, the rainy, crummy Gotham, the cinematography was great, so was the score, and so was Pattinson with what he was given, but this was such a let down, and the saddest part is that it had the potential to be the best one yet. They fucking blew it, this was a bait and switch. They lured us in with "vengeance" and darkness, but the movie itself was for 14 year olds who frequent hot topic and make fun of themselves for being white.

What a mess.

Probably the most disappointing film of the year.

Publish At: Author:Leo Littlebook

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